Last week, I had to say something that made my stomach sink:
“I’m sorry, I’m pulling out from my commitments.”
I let someone down—and worse, I felt ashamed.
But the truth is, I’d already let someone else down before that.
You see, I had committed to building a 115-day working schedule—not just because the number looked good on paper. But because I know that proactive rest is the only way I stay productive, joyful, and powerful in the long run.
But I forgot.
And because I didn't rest well, this started to negatively show up in my work, breaking trust with myself:
- Half-assing my work
- Sending newsletters late
- Not following up on time with people I care about
- Letting my inbox grow wild
- Pushing off my own wants for “later”
My calendar was filled up with reactive, urgent, but not things that move my needle to the future self.
We’re taught to “work hard, play hard,” but most of us never really get to the second part.
Instead, we just scroll longer. Numb out.
Not because we’re lazy, but because we’re overloaded.
Yesterday, after a long meeting, I didn’t go home.
I didn’t turn on the light.
I drove straight to my favorite beach.
In the daylight, it’s calm. Quiet.
The kind of place where I can read, reflect, and return to myself.
And there—sitting on the sand—I remembered why I made that original commitment.
It’s not about the fancy number. It’s not a performance.
It’s a promise to my future self.
The version of me that shows up powerfully on those 115 working days because she chose to rest, restore, and live life fully on the other 250.
Rest isn’t a reward.
It’s the root of everything we’re trying to build.
Once you switch the order of "Work hard, party hard" to "Party hard, work hard" - things change drastically.
So if you’ve been wondering why it’s so hard to follow through on your dreams—maybe it’s not about pushing harder. Maybe it’s about giving yourself what you actually need.
The break. The breath. The beach.
