— I cannot do that, - she called me with tears.
— Hold on. Let me come over, - I said.
— No, just do what you need to. We are going to loose time, - she tried to push me back.
— Let me come and we will figure everything out, - I pushed through.

I lost only 15 min to get to her. But there I was. For her. Near her.

We fixed her challenges and did everything we needed to do then. But what she got was not a fix for her problems.

Later on that night I needed to have myself backed up.

But I hurt so much, that I couldn’t word “Come, be with me, back me up”. All I had was a fountain of emotions and a lot of pushing back, same as my friend did the same day to me.

But nobody pushed me into coming over and gave me a f*cking hug. No matter that I said “I don’t need that”, somebody had to be powerful and pushy for me.

I was left alone with my hurt.

I know how to get the biggest life lessons and growth from these one-on-ones with pain.
And I did this time. One of the most profound uncovering surfaced up, and I am glad they did. This has already formed a direct path for my future life.

At the same time, I'd rather get support than a life lesson.

And I cherish the many moments I am backed up by my people:

• With a genuine talk.
• Being blindly supported “I am with you, no matter what you decide or do”
• Being hosted overnight or even for a couple of months.
• Having financial support, even when I am too proud to accept not only cash, but even a discount.
• Being wrapped in arms and getting a good squeeze till I feel safe (by the way, helps with panic attacks on physical level)

How this relates to energy

Your tribe - is an essential ingredient of Emotional energy.

If we are emotionally energetic:

• we can take risks and bold actions - thus feeding mental energy;
• we produce good hormones - thus feeding physical energy;
• we can show up at our highest self, as we feel safe - thus feeding spiritual energy.

Our tribe, our people, the ones we can trust and be ourselves around them - this is like a

Take action

• Build your tribe.
• Search for people around whom you can be yourself, nourish and invest in these connections.
• ​Reach out for help, when you feel, you can't do it alone.

Next time you see a friend, who needs support

Be there for him or her.

See a person, not a problem.

Don't jump into solving. Be a support first, then help solve the problem.

Sawubona = I see you from Zulu language. Best explained, Susan David in her TED talk about emotional courage. I encourage you to watch/listen with pen and paper.

​

What I walk away with

I am grateful to my mom, my two best friends, who had the most intimate and supporting conversations with me.

I am grateful to the person, who caused me pain. I'd never discover about myself what I learned yesterday.

I am grateful to people, who I know I can reach out and say freely "I need a friend"

And I am adding a project to my todo list: to build a support system within a hug distance. Because a simple hug could have saved me from a lot of pain yesterday.

Now, tell me

What do YOU walk away with from this email?

I'll reply, you know that :)

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